Yep! It's FanFiction!
by Bolts For Explosives
Summary: CRACKFIC An old story about the nations and absolutely nothing happening. Was supposed to become a cracky Snapped!Canada story. WARNING: OOC-ness, the stereotypical murderous Russia, pervy France, annoying 'Murica, pissy Britain, and absolute crack. Everything here is a joke. Don't freak out on me/us.


A Very Important Note:

Recently, I haven't been into Hetalia much. I do like it still, but it really hasn't been on my mind much.

But, while going through my deviantART journals, I found this posted.

This is an absolutely ridiculous "crackfic" between me, a male Hetalia fan, and my other, insane friend, who still loves Hetalia.

WARNING: EVERYTHING IS MEANT TO BE TAKEN AS A JOKE. Hence the title "Yep! It's FanFiction!" We were going to continue after the time skip, but we never did because it got too ridiculous.

So, enjoy this cracky shit.

"Ohhonhonhonhon~" France did his creepy laugh and watched the other nations from a bush.  
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!? DID THAT BUSH JUST LAUGH FRANCE'S PEDO LAUGH?!"  
"Dude, you're just imagining things. Go play with flying mint bunny," America laughed his normal, childish laugh.  
"Don't be such a wanker, America. I heard it laugh France's pedo laugh." England bitch slapped America with his absolutely invincible Englishman powers.  
"Dude, not cool! You don't slap the hero!" America yelled, pissed off.  
"I will slap whoever I damn well please! Don't tell me what to do!" England yelled back.  
"I'm the hero!" America ran in circles.  
"We understand you're the hero, America! Now shut up, and go play in that laughing bush!" (It's rape time. xD JK) Just as Iggy said this, France dived out of the bush at them, causing him to immediately get kicked in the face by Iggy.  
"BITCH, I'M AN ABSOLUTELY INVINCIBLE BRITISH GENTLEMAN."  
"Dude! That's a huge contradiction! You say you're a gentleman, but you totally just kicked France's face off!" America laughed some more. "You suck!" England punched America in this face.  
"Bloody wanker!" He shouted, his face turning red.  
America gasped. "England! You're turning into a tomato!" He pointed. "DUDE, HE'S A FREAKING TOMATO!"  
"SHUT UP, WANKER!" England stormed off. Canada watched quietly from the background.  
"England! Where are you going?!" America whined like a bitch. "I wanted to see your face become redder!" England threw a scone at him and went home. Canada frowned and hugged his bear.  
"Who are you?" The bear asked.  
"I'm . . . Canada . . . " Canada's eye twitched.  
America heard a voice, but he wasn't sure where it was coming from. "France, do you hear that random voice? Or am I just going insane?"  
"I hear it too, merique~" France said.  
"Good. I'm not insane like England then!" America smiled. "I don't hear it anymore..."  
"Pay attention!" Canada shouted in his airy voice.  
"GAH! IT'S THERE AGAIN!" America yelled. "FRANCE, HELP ME! IS IT A GHOST?! HOLY CRAP, I HATE GHOSTS!" France epically facepalmed.  
Canada's eye twitched again. "America! How do you not see me?!" he yelled.  
"It's a ghost!" America jumped into France's arms. "SAVE ME!"  
France laughed his pedophile laugh again. "HONHONHONHON~" America was scared and let go.  
"Here I am, yay!" Russia suddenly appeared, his creepy as Hell smile still on his face. America sceamed and ran away in the most un-hero-like fashion. France followed in le running away. Russia laughed his evil, "Kolkolkol~"  
"Mr. Kumagichi? Do you think Russia will notice me?" Canada said.  
"Who are you?"  
"I'm your owner, Canada!" Canada whined. "Russia? Do you see me? Or hear me? Or whatever?"  
"Indeed I do, Canadia~" Russia said in a creepy way.  
Canada's eyes widened, but he pretended he wasn't creeped out by Russia and smiled. "Haha... Really? That's good then. How do you think I can get other countries to notice me?"  
"Become creepily insane, like me~" Russia proceeded to start dragging Canada away.  
"MAPLE LEAVES. SAVE ME! PLEASE!"  
Mr. Kumajiro just sat on the ground. "... Who are you again?"  
Canada kicked him in the head, fed up. Russia smiled his creepy smile.  
"Good, small child," Russia ruffled Canada's hair.  
"That was relieving... But I hurt Mr. Kumasomething...!" Canada panicked. "Oh no!"  
"It's no big deal, da~," Russia replied. "People should notice you. You deserve the attention." He continued to creepily smile as he said this. Canada finally nodded in agreement. "Thank you for agreeing with me, Canada. Now, how do you think you're going to get people to see you?" Canada's eye twitched some more.  
"Maybe if I did something REALLY insane, it would get attention?" He suggested.  
"Good, good, kolkolkol~" Russia chuckled.  
"But,,, What should I do, Russia? I'm not insane... yet," Canada asked.  
"I'm not sure. What's the worst thing you can think of? I have a really long list..." Russia laughed evily.  
"What's the first thing on your list?" Canada asked curiously.  
"The very worst one is to take over the world by killing everybody. It sounds fun, but it'd be too exhausting to do in a day." Russia smiled. "I'd still give it a try, though!"  
"Sounds fun," Canada nibbles on his thumbnail.  
Russia looked at Canada. "What? You're considering my evil plan of death, blood, and crazy dismemberment?" Canada nodded. "Oh... Well... Don't try killing me. I'll hurt your face."  
"It could work," Canada said thoughtfully.  
"It could. Good job, Canada. Now, who should you start with?"  
"We should start with . . . Um . . . China," Canada said.  
"Why China?" Russia asked.  
"Because his voice annoys me," Canada replied simply.  
"I don't find China's voice annoying," Russia said, glowing his freakish, purple aura.  
"Uh..." Canada was unsure of what to say next. "I was kidding! Let's start with . . . Japan!" He quickly corrected his mistake, not wanting to be killed by Russia. Russia lost the freakish aura and smiled normally.  
"Okay, Kiku it is," He said calmly.  
Canada nodded. "Kiku has a strange name."  
"Da. He does." Canada nodded in agreement.  
"How do you kill someone?" He asked.  
"You have a lot to learn, young one," Russia smiled calmly. "First, you come up with a dumb, elaborate idea. Can you do that, Canada?"  
"Um, lure him with Pocky and stab him in the back with a sharp knife?" Canada suggested.  
"Da. Then, you eat the pocky as they slowly bleed to death." Russia smiled at Canada. "Yes. Sounds good." Canada let out a small laugh. Russia kolkolkol'd like he normally does.  
"Where are we gonna find Pocky?" Canada asked.  
"Wal-Mart," Russia said with a nod. (DEAR GOD. I KNEW YOU'D SAY THAT. xD) (I KNOW BROSEPH. XD)  
"Wal-Mart? Okay!" Canada said as he picked up Mr. Kumajiro. "Do you remember my name now?"  
"... Who are you?"  
"..." Canada's eye twitched. A lot. "I. AM. CANADA. YOUR STUPID OWNER!" Canada got fed up and threw the dumb bear at the wall, storming toward the random Wal-Mart that was generically placed in the scene.  
"There's a good start, Mattie!" Russia said, following him.  
"Um... Russia?" Canada asked. "Where is the nearest Wal-Mart?"  
"It's right there, da?" Russia pointed at the random Wal-Mart that was there. Canada nodded and went to it so he could get his ebil Pocky.  
"What happens if America or someone else sees us buying Pocky?! Do we panic?!"  
"No! That's stupid. We act like we're not doing anything wrong. Panicking makes us look guilty."  
"Act like we're not doing anything?" Canada cocked his head to the right curiously.  
"Da!" Russia went and picked up a box of Pocky calmly and then took it to the check-out counter, just like he was a normal person buying Pocky to nom the delicious chocolate covered biscuit sticks.  
"That's so strange to act like we're not doing anything, Russia... Because we're always... Um... Yeah." Canada had no idea what he was saying, because the writer has a head ache at the moment. xD Russia was very confused, and wants to make the writer's headache better, but alas, he could nawt. And that devastated the writer.  
"Okay then, Canada. Let's go and find Japan," Russia said as he creepily smiled. Canada creepily smiled with him and tore open the box of Pocky. He ate a piece as they went to find Japan.  
~*TIMESKIP, AWAY!*~

Use your imagination in finding out what happened next. My writing sucked back then, but I can't remember who wrote what part at all.

Still, like this dumb shit? Review, please.


End file.
